Tens of thousands of years ago, our ancestors fought for their survival every single day.
Living past the age of 30 was rare.
But our minds evolved to help us survive.
We learned to look for and avoid danger.
With our minds, we imagined, and then created:
Today, and thankfully, most of us rarely find ourselves in imminent danger.
But, our brains haven’t entirely caught up.
Parts of our minds are still scanning for that saber-toothed tiger.
And guess what?
This part of our brain also perceives our stepkids as legitimate threats to our resources, and our security.
It’s not entirely rational – but it’s there.
If we want to, we can learn to override this part of our minds – and it’s much easier than we think.
It all starts with becoming aware of the things we tell ourselves about our stepkids.
We have to pay attention, be curious, and ask ourselves: why do I feel threatened or jealous or resentful? what am I thinking?
And then we need to listen to our answers – even if they sound crazy ( I promise you, you’re not crazy).
And then we get to decide whether or not we want to keep believing those things.
And then we practice our new beliefs, everyday until they become second nature.
That’s all there is too it.