“You shouldn’t have so many problems getting up on time.”
“You’re never going to succeed at anything if can’t stick to your morning routine.”
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That used to be me -judging myself after I decided to sleep through my alarm.
Can you imagine saying something like that to a friend?
I can’t – but that’s how I used to talk to myself sometimes – and not just for sleeping in.
But then I discovered what it means to really love myself –
It means accepting all of me.
Even the part of me that resists sticking to my morning routine, or that loves eating too many sweets, or that wants to binge watch the Netflix Cheer documentary.
Instead of judging myself, I started to say this: Of course you want to sleep in. You like being warm. And asleep. What human doesn’t?
Of course you want to binge watch TV – it takes no effort and what human doesn’t love laying around?
And guess what?
Once I started being more compassionate with myself across all areas of my life, it was a game changer for my relationships with others.
See, how we treat others is like our mirror: it’s oftentimes a reflection of how we treat ourselves.
So, I went to wake up one of my stepkids the other day and I was met with an emphatic: No! I don’t want to get up!
Instead of just dismissing him and yelling at him to get up or else, I countered with a compassionate:
Of course you don’t sweetie – I basically never want to get up each morning either. But unless you have a fever, we gotta get you ready for school.
When I approach others in my life in this way, they soften up too. We have honest conversations. And we don’t yell.
But in order to have these kinds of interactions with others in our lives, we need to pay attention to our inner monologues first.
And decide to choose love and kindness and compassion for ourselves always.
And honor all of our humanness.
