We can do hard things

Woman in boxing tape punching the air

Being a stepmom is hard, they say.

 

And you know what I say? 

 

Let it be hard. 

 

We can do hard things. 

 

We are stepmoms because we have an incredible capacity to love. 

 

Think about it – we loved someone else so much we agreed to help raise their kids. 

 

Some might say we were foolish, or naive. 

 

I say let them.

 

The truth is that what we chose –  we chose from pure love. 

 

And we chose it because there’s a part of us that knows just how beautiful having a stepfamily can be. 

 

Any challenges that we’re currently having with our stepkids or our spouses – those are supposed to be there. 

 

They simply exist to help us become more of the loving and strong women we’re destined to be. 

 

So don’t give up. 

 

This can be hard, but we can do hard things. 

 

And we know how to love – and I promise that’s the most important part. 

P.S. Want to know more? I created a free training to help you create better relationships with your stepkids and spouse. It's really good. Click the button below to watch.

I used to snap at him

Blonde woman

I used to snap at my husband all the time. 

 

I wanted to stop, but I didn’t necessarily know how.

 

Until I learned what was going on – 

 

See, I would snap at him because I was feeling annoyed, or frustrated or irritated. 

 

And instead of processing those emotions, I was snapping at my husband – about how he parented the kids, about the house being a mess, you name it. 

 

To process my emotions is actually really straightforward – 

 

It really just involves inhaling and exhaling slowly until I feel calm – instead of snapping

 

And when I’m calm, I can have more effective conversations:  


Instead of yelling at him to make the kids clean up, I’ll just ask his kids again, calmly, and set consequences if they don’t listen. 

 

Argument avoided. 

 

It took some practice but I am proud to say now that I rarely snap. 

 

At him, or anyone else in my family. 

 

I’m not superhuman – I’m just taking some deep, slow breaths. 

 

This is available to you too if you want it – and it can literally save your marriage.

 

P.S. Want to know more? I created a free training to help you create better relationships with your stepkids and spouse. It's really good. Click the button below to watch.

Most women would hate this…

Woman with 2 small children

Let’s be real. 

 

Most women would hate this. 

 

And by this – I mean our lives: stepkids, ex-spouses, permissive spouses. 

 

And yet. 

 

THIS is our lives. 

 

Those other women? 

 

They’re not living our lives. 

 

They don’t get to determine how we feel about it. 

 

That’s up to us.

 

And we’re not most women.  

 

We can choose to love the life we’re in. 

 

And it’s as simple as this: 

 

Reminding ourselves all of the amazing qualities of our spouse – and why we fell in love in the first place. 

 

Looking for the little things we enjoy about our stepkids. 

 

Accepting each member of our household in all of their perfect imperfectness. 

 

We don’t have to hate this. 

 

And THIS life can be better than we ever imagined. 

 

P.S. Want to know more? I created a free training to help you create better relationships with your stepkids and spouse. It's really good. Click the button below to watch.

How to Celebrate Mother’s Day

woman holding flowers

I’ve been thinking about you…

 

And the upcoming Mother’s Day this Sunday. 

 

And here is my message to you: 

 

You matter. 

 

Your stepkids may not call you ‘mom,’ but you help take care of them. 

 

You dole out hugs and lunches. 

 

Fold clothes, clean up messes, offer words of encouragement. 

 

No one gets to make you feel insignificant – only you can do that to yourself. 

 

Don’t use this day to beat yourself up, or judge yourself, or believe others’ negative opinions about you. 

 

This Mother’s Day I invite you to focus on all of the reasons why you matter – why you are significant: 

 

  • You have a significant and positive influence on your stepkids lives. 

  • You are so loved by your spouse. 

  • You are enough, no matter what. 

 

Celebrate you. 

 

Because you matter, stepmomma. So much more than you know. 

 

P.S. Want to know more? I created a free training - 3 secrets to stop dreading your stepkids. It's really good. Click the button below to watch.