Does this sound like you?
“My situation isn’t even that bad…. So I shouldn’t even be this miserable. I should just suck it up and deal with it.”
Here’s my confession: this used to be me too.
But one day I realized just how mean I was being to myself. And that by being mean to myself, my family dynamics were only getting worse.
After all, misery loves company – and I was constantly miserable around my spouse, and my stepkids.
Something had to change – and it started with me.
I started to accept myself for being miserable – instead of beating myself up.
I was a stepmom of 4. I was miserable – AND it was OK. I didn’t have to suck it up. I didn’t have to judge myself for being miserable.
Just admitting that brought such a sense of relief.
And once I dropped my self-judgement, I realized I had options: stay miserable or seek help.
I choose the latter. And it was the best decision I ever made for myself and my marriage.
I’m not miserable anymore. My marriage is easy. I adore my spouse. I repeatedly get to experience peace as a stepmom in all the chaos of virtual schooling with 4 children between the ages of 7 and 12.
But no matter what, if you ARE miserable right now, I want you to know it’s 100% OK – even if your situation isn’t anything like the horror stories you read in all those stepmom groups.
Your feelings matter. Your experience right now is valid.
And, with the right tools and support, more calm and loving relationships (and way less misery) are absolutely available to you.