I know what’s going on with your Disneyland partner.
Let me be the first to say I know it’s not fun.
And I know it can seem like no matter how hard you try, or how many times y’all talk (or fight) about your parenting approaches- you can’t get through.
Nothing changes. Disneyland mom or dad is here to stay….maybe.
So let’s talk about what’s going on with Disneyland mom or dad.
The truth is that the way your partner parents has nothing to do with you.
And it has everything to do with your spouse’s unresolved emotions.
The Disneyland mom or dad doesn’t like confronting the kids, because it’s uncomfortable to have your kids talk back at you, or get upset at you.
The disneyland mom or dad may feel guilty about the divorce – and is now trying to make it up to the kids by fulfilling all of their wants, and never setting up healthy boundaries.
You don’t need to condone the behavior.
But maybe there’s another way to address it with your Disneyland partner – a way that may make forward momentum much more likely.
Instead of discussing the rules you want to enforce, you can ask your spouse questions about what’s going on for him or her emotionally. Because the rules are a cover for the unresolved feelings.
Why does he or she find it so difficult to enforce rules and dole out consequences? How is he or she feeling, truly?
If asked with kindness, the answer may be freeing for you and your spouse. And it may bring you guys closer together.
It may just help you reach a compromise.
I can’t promise you that your partner will ever change – and no one can force another adult human to change.
But if you change your approach, you may just be pleasantly surprised by what happens next.
And hey, if you try it out, and make no traction, you always have a choice of whether to love and accept your partner anyways, or leave.
You always have control over you, and your happiness.