So there it was, her family photo: Fiance. Her bio kids. Her stepdaughter.
But something was off.
Her kids’ faces were covered with magnets.
At first she thought it was just a mistake and she simply moved the magnets.
But after doing that about 8 times, she lost it.
She felt like this family that she wanted to work, just wasn’t going to work.
The arguments that ensued with her fiance after the fact nearly ended their relationship.
She felt doomed.
She was jumping to the worst possible scenario – which is a very normal, human thing to do.
But there were a few things she was forgetting.
She was forgetting to consider the best case scenario: that things will work out anyways.
She was forgetting about an in-between scenario: that sure, this might be a challenge to overcome, but it doesn’t have to mean the end of the family she longs to have.
Middle of the road.
All choices. One makes her feel doomed. Makes her totally shut down and contemplate leaving. The other two give her hope, and encouragement. They inspire a different type of dialogue with her fiance. One that’s much more solutions oriented.
So I invited her to make a deliberate choice. The best choice for her, and her family. And lean into that.
She instantly knew what her choice would be (hint: it wasn’t her doomsday scenario!).
And sometimes this is all it takes: just having someone remind us of our options, to pull us out of our funk. So we can keep building the family life we all crave.