It’s totally possible to cut your marital arguments in half.
Want to know how?
First things first: arguments happen because we react to strong negative emotions. In the heat of the moment we might feel angry, defensive, frustrated.
Then, we lash out. Raise our voices. Say things we regret.
The secret then?
Remaining calm in the moment – no matter what our partners are saying to us.
Now if you’re thinking well WHY on earth would I do that? Read on. Stick with me.
Consider how you might behave differently if you were feeling calm… maybe you wouldn’t raise your voice. Maybe you’d explain yourself better. Maybe you’d ask more questions.
Consider how your partner might then respond to you in turn, if you didn’t yell. Maybe he or she would calm down too. Maybe he or she would listen better.
Imagine that the conversation would change entirely, and you’d be able to solve more problems instead of staying stuck in a martial stalemate.
You could be the person who starts to shift your conversations from super tense, to more relaxed and loving.
And if you’re thinking well how in the heck do I stay calm in the heat of the moment…
I have the solution for that too.
It’s easy, and it just takes a little bit of practice.
And I’m going to tell you about it next week, so stay tuned.