Feeling anxious right now? I can help you

woman with mouth closed

For many of us, the holidays can make us feel super anxious.

 

And it makes sense – many of us are not only dealing with the stress of gift buying and meal planning but we also have the added stressors of stepkids who maybe don’t love us that much, or don’t listen, or refuse to eat anything we put on the table.  

 

And truth be told, it’s much harder to control what’s outside of us (the holidays during a global pandemic, what our stepkids say or do) than what’s inside of us. 

 

The good news is that we can control how calm we feel in this very moment without changing a single thing about our stepkids, or the holidays in general. 

 

If you’re thinking – well how on earth do I do that – stick with me. I’ve got you. 

 

It all starts with our breath. Literally. If you can breathe, you can cut your anxiety by half at any moment. 

 

So the next time you feel anxious (and heck, maybe you’re feeling anxious right now)…

 

Just notice how the emotion feels in your body.  

 

Now take a slow, deep inhale through your nose, and exhale slowly through your mouth. Do this for a few minutes until you physically feel your body relax a bit. The tightness will be less intense. The heaviness will lift. 

 

So yes, that’s all it takes. And you can notice your emotions and breathe slowly whenever the heck you want… 

 

And instantly feel relieved and way less anxious this holiday season. 

P.S. Want to know more? I created a free training to help you create better relationships with your stepkids and spouse. It's really good. Click the button below to watch.

What to do when your stepkids are mean

woman who is sad

I’ll be the first to admit it.

 

It totally sucks when our stepkids ignore us, exclude us, or treat us like second class citizens. 

 

It can make us feel rejected and humiliated like no other. 

 

And of course we feel that way. We’re trying to build a bond with them. We feed them, bathe them, help out with homework. Buy them gifts.

 

And then we get treated like an outsider in our homes.

 

Being treated this way can come with the territory of being a stepmom sometimes.

 

BUT the good news is that there’s something we can do to make it better right now – and it doesn’t even depend on the kids changing their behavior (which will take time, and patience). 

 

See the reason their behavior can sting so much is because we personalize it. If we get ignored or excluded, we make it mean we’re not important, or there’s something wrong with us. 

 

So making things better starts with a simple reminder: It’s not personal. 

 

When our stepkids treat us unkindly, it doesn’t mean we’re bad parents, or unimportant and unworthy of respect.

 

What it means is that the kiddos are feeling insecure, jealous, or threatened, and we’re an easy target. The stepmom always is. We could literally be any other woman, and the treatment would be the same. 

 

We don’t have to condone their behavior, but we also don’t have to make it mean something horrible about us. 

 

And this is something we can do all on our own, and instantly experience more peace. 

 

All it takes is a little reminder: it’s not personal. 

P.S. Want to know more? I created a free training to help you create better relationships with your stepkids and spouse. It's really good. Click the button below to watch.