How often do you resent your role as stepmom and wife?
If you just thought – a lot, Kristin! – Don’t worry, you’re not alone.
Maybe you feel like you have to keep the house clean…because no one else will. And then you resent cleaning the house
Or maybe you think you have to discipline your stepkids, because your spouse won’t, or doesn’t do it in a way that aligns with your parenting philosophy… And then you resent your spouse.
But here’s the thing – and I know this might sound crazy at first, so stick with me.
You don’t really have to do anything. You could stop cleaning the house, and stop parenting your stepkids.
And I know what you might be thinking… That’s crazy!…If I don’t, no one else will! And then it will be chaos!
And that may be true.
But when you tell yourself you have to do something, it feels like you’re being forced against your will. It builds resentment and ultimately, an unhappy marriage.
So that leaves you with a choice –
What do you want to do for yourself and your family?
You can make a choice – not out of a sense of obligation, but because it aligns with your values.
Maybe you want to keep your house clean – not because you have to and no one else will – but because you love a clean house.
Maybe you want to keep disciplining your stepkids – not because you have to – but because you care about them, and want to give them rules and structure to thrive.
And whenever you start to feel resentful about what you’re doing, you can tell yourself this: I’m doing this because I want to…not because I have to.