If you lash at your family and want to stop, I want you to know it’s OK.
This is what most humans do. There’s nothing wrong with you.
And I get why you do it.
It’s because having a stepfamily can feel so infuriating – it’s the exact opposite of what we think our families are supposed to be like…
Maybe the bio-mom is trash talking you to her kids.
Maybe you married a Disneyland Dad.
Maybe your stepkids completely ignore and exclude you.
But, no matter how icky and maddening your situation feels right now….
There is also a way to stop lashing out for good, and enjoy more peaceful relationships at home-
Let me show you how with a story about a fellow stepmom.
She came to me because she was having a lot of arguments with her husband about her stepdaughter’s behavior. (I’m sure many of you can relate!)
She would get really mad and then lash out. Over, and over, and over again.
She was worried about whether or not her marriage would make it.
When we initially spoke during our free call, I explained to her that what she was experiencing was really common, and also something that can be easily adjusted.
The real issue was that no one had ever taught her how to allow her feelings – instead of reacting to them.
I simply told her it was possible to not react.
She took this ONE tip and immediately changed her marriage dynamic.
Here’s what she told me after our free call:
“So, last week my stepdaughter covered a wall in her room with pictures and thumbtacks. She literally made hundreds of holes in my wall! I was so mad at first because I’m going to have to be the one to fix it later.
But then I just kept telling myself: I don’t need to react. It’s OK to feel mad right now.
Later on that same day, I calmly told my husband what happened and asked him to speak to his daughter and figure out a solution. He agreed.”
Before we met, she would have just lashed out at her husband again. And he would have gotten really defensive. And the problem of the holey wall would have never gotten fixed.
But now that she’s seen how powerful NOT reacting is for her marriage – she can do this over and over and over again – regardless of how mad she gets.
And she’s going to drastically reduce the frequency and intensity of her marital disputes in the end.
And enjoy a more loving, peaceful marriage as a result.
And I want you to know that if she can, you can too.