When I learned what happened, I felt like garbage

Oscar the grouch float

So my husband realized it first. 

 

He called me into one of his kids’ bedrooms, and said:

“Look, this child has been stealing things from you, and our other kids.” 

 

And I immediately felt like garbage. 

 

So, I spent a few days feeling like garbage – 

 

Blaming myself in my head – 

 

“If you were a better, more loving, more supportive parent – this wouldn’t have happened.” 

 

But then I remembered something I so often share with my clients: 

 

The only reason I felt like garbage is because of the way I was blaming myself. 

 

I was the cause of my own suffering. 

 

Sure, I don’t have to love the stealing. 

 

But I don’t have to make this child’s stealing behavior mean something awful about me as a parent, or a human. 

 

And soon as I remembered this, I stopped feeling like trash. 

 

And I felt ready to go back to loving this child, unconditionally – 

 

Accepting them exactly as they are, even when they do things to me I don’t like. 

 

Because that’s what feels good to me. 

 

(And yes, I’m still gonna buy a lockbox for certain special items 😉 ).

P.S. Want to know more? I created a free training to help you create better relationships with your stepkids and spouse. It's really good. Click the button below to watch.

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