He called me into one of his kids’ bedrooms, and said:
“Look, this child has been stealing things from you, and our other kids.”
And I immediately felt like garbage.
So, I spent a few days feeling like garbage –
Blaming myself in my head –
“If you were a better, more loving, more supportive parent – this wouldn’t have happened.”
But then I remembered something I so often share with my clients:
The only reason I felt like garbage is because of the way I was blaming myself.
I was the cause of my own suffering.
Sure, I don’t have to love the stealing.
But I don’t have to make this child’s stealing behavior mean something awful about me as a parent, or a human.
And soon as I remembered this, I stopped feeling like trash.
And I felt ready to go back to loving this child, unconditionally –
Accepting them exactly as they are, even when they do things to me I don’t like.
Because that’s what feels good to me.
(And yes, I’m still gonna buy a lockbox for certain special items ).
P.S. Want to know more? I created a free training to help you create better relationships with your stepkids and spouse. It's really good. Click the button below to watch.