What to do when your stepkids are hurtful

Real talk: I know it sucks when you’re stepkids don’t listen, and say or do cruel things. 

 

No one ever said: please sign me up to parent kids who don’t listen to me! Who ignore me! Who exclude me! Who say horrible things to me! 

 

Unfortunately, this tends to come with the stepmom territory. 

 

But the real reason it sucks doesn’t actually have anything to do with our stepkids’ behavior, or their words… 

 

{If you were just like …um excuse me???! Stick with me here!}

 

The real reason it sucks is that we’re taking their words or behavior personally, and making it mean something negative about ourselves. 

 

Our stepkids don’t listen to us and we think: 

👎 I’m not being a good enough stepmom 

👎 There’s something wrong with me

 

So, no – when our stepkids don’t listen, or are rude and mean, it doesn’t mean we’re doing something wrong or that we’re not good enough. 

The only thing that’s gone wrong is that no one has ever taught us how to depersonalize our stepkids’ behavior – to recognize in the heat of the moment, it’s not about us. 🎯

 

And of course – no one wants to deal with stepkids who are rude, and disrespectful.

 

BUT…if we didn’t take things so personally, being a stepmom would no longer feel so hard and painful all the time. 💕

 

So the next time you’re faced with a stepkiddo who is cruel, or disrespectful – 

 

Take some slow deep breaths. 

 

Remind yourself: 

 

💖 What is happening to me would happen to any woman in my shoes (it’s not about me). 

 

💖 It doesn’t mean anything bad about me as a parent, or as a woman

 

💖 I am good enough, just the way I am. 

 

You’ve got this, mamma!