When co-parenting with BM is failing

I know your heart.

You have the best of intentions.

You want everyone to agree on how to parent the kids and you know your spouse’s ex is a huge piece of the puzzle.

But despite your best efforts, the ex:

maybe doesn’t even want to talk to you

refuses to do anything your spouse suggests

always tries to throw a wrench in your plans.

You think that things would be so much easier – on you, your spouse, your stepkids – if the ex would just be more agreeable.

If this sounds all too familiar, you’re not alone.

And, I have good news and bad news.

Bad news first:

You’re right – things would probably be a lot easier if everyone could cooperate.

But the bad news is that there’s nothing you or anyone else (even your spouse) can do to get the ex to cooperate.

As you’ve probably experienced, no amount of niceties, accommodations, or reasoning will ever work.

So I know you may be thinking:

How do I STOP all of this drama then?

And the good news:

The simplest and most effective way to stop any and all drama with the ex is to simply shift your perspective –

Because in the end, no matter the chaos around you, you always get to choose your attitude.

And ultimately, your attitude is always 100% in your control.

{We all know this innately, and sometimes we just need a little reminder.}

That shift in perspective could be as easy as remembering things like:

The ex doesn’t control my feelings – I do

The ex doesn’t control my marriage – I do

No matter what, I love my spouse

Getting upset isn’t going to solve this problem

Just notice how empowering and calming it feels to remind yourself of these simple truths.

So just consider what this could be like for you if you simply practiced shifting your perspective around the ex:

Instead of getting increasingly angry and upset as you overhear your spouse in a heated argument with the ex, you simply take some deep breaths and feel calmer, knowing that the ex no longer controls you, or your marriage.

Instead of spending so much time and effort strategizing on how to get the ex to change, you no longer think about them so much at all, and feel lighter, and more at ease when your stepkids are over.

Instead of lashing out at your spouse for allowing the ex to treat them poorly, you simply offer your love and support and move on with the rest of your day. No more useless arguments about the ex, anymore.

Imagine how freeing, and peaceful it would feel if all of that…was your norm.

Just consider: it can be.

And it can as easy as practicing a simple shift in perspective.