
Does this sound familiar to you?
“I just don’t like my stepson. He’s so annoying, rude, and entitled.”
If this is you, I want you to know you’re not alone.
And there’s nothing wrong with you. You simply have a normal human brain.
{Human brains are biased to focus on the negative.}
The real problem is that no one has ever taught you how to cultivate a lasting, and genuine connection with your stepkids –
even when it feels so easy to dislike them.
I’ve helped myself and so many of my clients cultivate deep connections with our stepkids with just one simple question:
What do I need to remember to feel more connected to my stepkids TODAY?
For me, I just like to remember:
This is a human being, just like me
They have a beating heart, just like me
They suffer emotionally, just like me
They are trying their best, just like me.
Now I know what you might be thinking –
Kristin, you’re telling me that when my stepkid calls me stupid I’m just supposed to feel all lovey-dovey?
YES and NO.
I’m NOT suggesting we condone inappropriate or harmful behaviors.
But what I am suggesting is that it’s possible to both dislike the behavior AND still feel connected to our stepkids…. at the same time.
Just like we have friends or other family members who may have fallen on hard times, and made choices we don’t like-
We don’t have to agree with their choices, but we can always choose to feel connected to this human being by focusing on what we still have in common, and what we already love about them.
And even on the most difficult days, when I start to notice myself pulling away from my stepfamily, I remember the simple choice I have:
I can choose to feel connected right now