This stepmom’s 50-minute miracle: constant fights to calm convos
I know you want to enjoy a deeply loving, intimate, and lasting marriage to your very best friend…
But, you might be stuck in a never-ending cycle of arguing and feeling too anxious, hurt, and angry to really enjoy your marriage right now.
I promise you there’s a very good reason this is happening right now, and it’s not your fault.
🔥 But what if there was ONE simple tool that you could use to eliminate your anxiety, hurt, and anger on command?
And, ultimately help you have more productive and calm conversations with your spouse, whenever you wanted? 🔥
If just thought um…YES TO TALL OF THAT!!!!!!!
You’re in the right place.
👉 You just need to learn my simple, proven emotional empowerment protocol.
👉It’s the quickest, most effective way to start feeling calmer AND stop the cycle of heated fighting with your spouse for good.
👉 It’s got two simple steps:
✅ pause whenever you feel anxious/ angry/ hurt, and take some slow deep breaths in through the nose, out through the mouth
✅ as you’re slowly breathing, repeat this simple script to yourself until you start feeling calmer:
This is an emotion. I’m simply feeling {name the negative/uncomfortable emotion}.
It’s coming from my thinking habits.
I don’t have to react right now.
I am OK.
I walked my client through these exact steps, and after ONE 50 minute session – and here’s what she had to say:
And not only that, but during our next session, she also told me this:
🥰 “I was able to talk to {my husband} about what happened with his ex very calmly, and rationally, and he responded really well. This is such a relief.
Before I met you, we were fighting constantly – just like every single day – and now it’s like we’ve had a few arguments, but we were able to calmly end them and move on. These tools are the answer to my prayers. I feel so much more in control.”
So just put yourself in my client’s shoes –
Imagine feeling angry and hurt when your spouse lets their kids get away with too much yet again, or the ex-wife throws a wrench in your plans once more…
✨ and just like my client, imagine instead…. simply pausing, breathing, and reciting the simple script….and then….. feeling so grounded and in control.
✨ Then….imagine how powerful it would feel to have one calm, and productive discussion with your spouse about whatever happened
✨ Now….just imagine how much more loving and intimate your marriage would become if these types of calm, productive conversations were your norm.
And just consider….👆👆👆THAT can be your norm – and practicing these 2 simple steps guarantees it.
P.S. Want to know more? I created a free training to help you create better relationships with your stepkids and spouse. It's really good. Click the button below to watch.
The permanent, fool-proof marriage solution for stepmoms
If you’re in the midst of a sudden or ongoing marital challenge, you’re not alone.
{In fact you may even be thinking..um Kristin – what stepmom isn’t!!??}
But I have good news:
It’s possible there is ONE simple tweak that you can make today to create more sustainable peace and happiness in your marriage.
I’m thinking about one woman in particular who’s an excellent example of this –
When this person first came to me, she wanted more boundaries with the ex, and more structure in her home during her husband’s custodial time –
And she and her husband fought about this all the time.
She was feeling anxious, guilty, and incredibly stressed – to the point where she was having a lot of trouble sleeping through the night.
And the first thing that I let her know was this:
It’s not that you’re wrong for wanting more boundaries and wanting more parenting structure.
But, at the same time, the WAY you’re doing it isn’t working – it’s just causing more arguments.
And ultimately, we cannot control your husband.
So what if there’s a way for you to feel happier, and more at peace, and argue way less with your husband –
regardless of whether or not he meets your expectations?
She was game.
And after a little gentle exploration, we uncovered that she was taking her husband’s choices really personally –
Any time he wouldn’t set a boundary with his ex, or would be reluctant to enforce certain rules with his daughter – my client started spiraling with thoughts like this:
“Well, he does this because he doesn’t care about me!”
And this line of thinking was actually the root cause of all their arguing at home, as well as her emotional distress.
So I offered her this simple idea: it’s possible he’s not trying to intentionally hurt you here.
So whenever her husband didn’t enforce a rule or boundary at home, like so many men {eh hem…Disneyland dads} in his shoes… he was simply overcome with guilt or insecurities from the separation and divorce.
Period.
And with that, every time my client’s husband didn’t enforce a rule or boundary, my client practiced:
taking some slow deep breaths, and
simply reminding herself that her husband’s decisions are about him, and his own guilt, and fears, and not actually a reflection of how he feels towards her.