Charity W., like so many of you, wanted to genuinely miss her stepson when he went away to college. 

But when she came to me, she had a really strained relationship with him. 

And, she felt consumed with shame and guilt –


Why couldn’t she just have more patience with him? Was she some kind of a monster? 

During our free call, I let her know that there was a very logical reason why she was having trouble connecting with him. 


And no, she definitely was NOT a monster. 

Of course, on the surface, he might talk back more, not listen, and say cruel things – we’ve all been there, right?  

BUT – spoiler alert – our stepkids challenging behavior is actually NEVER the main reason we struggle as stepmoms. 

And for Charity – (and let’s be real: me, and all the stepmoms on the planet) – 


all the resentment and annoyance she felt towards her stepson was simply a reflection of her own unhealed emotional pain. 
 

Let me explain. 

 

With a little gentle exploring, Charity confessed that one of the main relationship stressors was her stepson’s sense of entitlement. 

So we just kept exploring: why was his entitled behavior a problem for her specifically? 

Turns out, deep down, she was jealous of him – she had yearned for a childhood like his but instead, her parents had always struggled with money. 

And even today, even with abundant finances and a very comfortable life, Charity was still not giving herself what she really wanted.  

So, we granted her permission to start taking better care of herself – FIRST.  

She got braces to fix some gaps she had been feeling really insecure about. 

She gave herself a cute haircut. 

She decided to cut back on the number of hours she was working at her day job. 

And once she gave herself what SHE needed, the tension in her relationship with her stepson simply melted away. 

And even when they did face the normal parent-child obstacles, I showed her how to approach her stepson with the RIGHT emotions to elicit more cooperation. 

He listens better. 



Their conversations are easy now. 

They laugh together. 

And more importantly, Charity reported feeling the happiest she’s ever felt as a stepmom. 


And that pure joy and love that Charity cultivated for herself and her relationship – 

You could be her, too.

I know you want to enjoy a deeply loving, intimate, and lasting marriage to your very best friend…


But, you might be stuck in a never-ending cycle of arguing and feeling too anxious, hurt, and angry to really enjoy your marriage right now. 


I promise you there’s a very good reason this is happening right now, and it’s not your fault. 


🔥 But what if there was ONE simple tool that you could use to eliminate your anxiety, hurt, and anger on command?


And, ultimately help you have more productive and calm conversations with your spouse, whenever you wanted? 🔥

If just thought um…YES TO TALL OF THAT!!!!!!!

You’re in the right place. 

👉 You just need to learn my simple, proven emotional empowerment protocol. 


👉It’s the quickest, most effective way to start feeling calmer AND stop the cycle of heated fighting with your spouse for good.


👉 It’s got two simple steps: 

✅ pause whenever you feel anxious/ angry/ hurt, and take some slow deep breaths in through the nose, out through the mouth 

✅ as you’re slowly breathing, repeat this simple script to yourself until you start feeling calmer: 

This is an emotion. I’m simply feeling {name the negative/uncomfortable emotion}.
It’s coming from my thinking habits. 
I don’t have to react right now. 
I am OK.

I walked my client through these exact steps, and after ONE 50 minute session – and here’s what she had to say:

 

And not only that, but during our next session, she also told me this: 

🥰 “I was able to talk to {my husband} about what happened with his ex very calmly, and rationally, and he responded really well. This is such a relief. 

Before I met you, we were fighting constantly – just like every single day – and now it’s like we’ve had a few arguments, but we were able to calmly end them and move on. These tools are the answer to my prayers. I feel so much more in control.” 

So just put yourself in my client’s shoes –

Imagine feeling angry and hurt when your spouse lets their kids get away with too much yet again, or the ex-wife throws a wrench in your plans once more…

✨ and just like my client, imagine instead…. simply pausing, breathing, and reciting the simple script….and then….. feeling so grounded and in control. 

✨ Then….imagine how powerful it would feel to have one calm, and productive discussion with your spouse about whatever happened 

✨ Now….just imagine how much more loving and intimate your marriage would become if these types of calm, productive conversations were your norm. 

And just consider….👆👆👆THAT can be your norm – and practicing these 2 simple steps guarantees it. 

If you’re in the midst of a sudden or ongoing marital challenge, you’re not alone. 

{In fact you may even be thinking..um Kristin – what stepmom isn’t!!??} 

But I have good news: 

It’s possible there is ONE simple tweak that you can make today to create more sustainable peace and happiness in your marriage. 

I’m thinking about one woman in particular who’s an excellent example of this – 

When this person first came to me, she wanted more boundaries with the ex, and more structure in her home during her husband’s custodial time –


And she and her husband fought about this all the time.  

She was feeling anxious, guilty, and incredibly stressed – to the point where she was having a lot of trouble sleeping through the night. 

And the first thing that I let her know was this: 

It’s not that you’re wrong for wanting more boundaries and wanting more parenting structure. 

But, at the same time, the WAY you’re doing it isn’t working – it’s just causing more arguments. 

And ultimately, we cannot control your husband. 

So what if there’s a way for you to feel happier, and more at peace, and argue way less with your husband –


regardless of whether or not he meets your expectations? 

She was game. 

And after a little gentle exploration, we uncovered that she was taking her husband’s choices really personally – 

Any time he wouldn’t set a boundary with his ex, or would be reluctant to enforce certain rules with his daughter – my client started spiraling with thoughts like this: 

“Well, he does this because he doesn’t care about me!” 

And this line of thinking was actually the root cause of all their arguing at home, as well as her emotional distress. 

So I offered her this simple idea: it’s possible he’s not trying to intentionally hurt you here. 

So whenever her husband didn’t enforce a rule or boundary at home, like so many men {eh hem…Disneyland dads} in his shoes… he was simply overcome with guilt or insecurities from the separation and divorce.



Period. 

And with that, every time my client’s husband didn’t enforce a rule or boundary, my client practiced:
 

• taking some slow deep breaths, and 

• simply reminding herself that her husband’s decisions are about him, and his own guilt, and fears, and not actually a reflection of how he feels towards her. 

And over time, she started to feel way more relaxed – the anxiety and stress that plagued her days and robbed her of sleep, dissipated. 

And their fights decreased significantly – simply because she knew deep down that her husband loved HER – even if he didn’t always meet her expectations on rules and boundaries. 

So they could talk about things calmly, or not – and regardless, my client no longer believed her happiness or their love for one another depended on her husband changing. 

And guess what: I don’t know that her husband EVER changed his ways. 

But she felt more content, and calmer as a stepmom, mom, and wife.

And…even months later, the work we did together still has a significant, and powerful influence on her marriage, and overall happiness and sense of peace at home – 

She wrote to me recently and said that her husband was feeling crushed and rejected by something his daughters did and was sulking around the house all weekend. 

And my client – because she’s a human – immediately felt rejected too – 

But then, just like countless times in the past, she remembered her tools: 

She remembered that her husband’s sulking was about HIM and his own insecurities with his daughters, and not about HER or their love. 

And from that empowered place, she chose to be supportive and comfort her husband – instead of starting a fight about why he needed to stop sulking.

And she focused on making her weekend fun – no matter what. 

Simply deciding to depersonalize her husband’s behavior has created sustainable peace and happiness in her marriage. 

And if this stepmom and bio-mom, me, and countless other women I’ve helped can use this one simple tweak to permanently, and positively shift our marriages…

 It’s 100% possible you can too.