3 keys to blended family harmony
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See what my clients are saying
"I feel so much more centered and balanced."
"Before I met Kristin, I was feeling like I had found this wonderful person who I loved but, I was also feeling like I had very little control over what was happening in our relationship, and my role in his family. I was feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and frustrated on a weekly basis.
I had this major sense of guilt because I felt like I was invading someone else’s family. I spent a lot of time people-pleasing, and not really paying attention to what I wanted.
Now, I feel like I always have a choice in how I respond to any given situation. Knowing I have this choice feels really empowering. I am able to enjoy my relationship so much more and not let any of the dynamics with his kids affect me so much. I recognize that I don’t have to fix anyone - neither my partner, nor his kids - nor is it my responsibility to do that.
Overall I feel calmer and more at ease with everything and emotionally, I have far more energy to think about and experience my life. I’m doing things that I love again - like restoring furniture! I’ve been able to put up boundaries around me, and my time and what I want, and no longer feel like I have to always do what my partner and his kids want. I feel so much more centered and balanced.
If you’re thinking about hiring Kristin, I would say just do it. What I’m learning is that being in this role of ‘stepmom’ is not easy for anyone. And, that’s actually one of the main things that’s been helpful to hear- that my experience is common. It helps to know that a lot of the emotions are very normal and to know you’re not alone is really helpful. So the real question is: why wouldn’t you do this for yourself? Why wouldn’t you want to enjoy yourself more? Cope better? Feel better? Kristin does an absolutely fantastic job. She’s incredibly understanding and asks the right questions and has the right tools just for stepmoms. To be able to talk through things, and learn how to feel better without changing anyone else has been life changing for me."
Jude
"I don't say this lightly when I say she truly changed my life."
My life was miserable before I found Kristin. I absolutely despised being a stepmom. I hated the ex-wife. I often hated my husband for bringing her into my life and not warning me how hard things would be. I resented everything I did for the kids, all my sacrifices, all my time, it felt like it was pointless. I was contemplating divorce because I didn't think I could handle being a stepmom for the rest of my life. I was hopeless, depressed and desperate!
I went from hating my life, to actually enjoying my role in my family. I went from feeling like an outsider, to feeling like a family unit. And most of all, I developed the coping skills and thought processes I needed to create so much more happiness and peace in my life! No longer do I feel helpless and hopeless, I can now look to the future with excitement. I am in control! I feel powerful.
You will not regret one second of working with Kristin. Kristin will be the best thing you can do for yourself. She is incredible at her job. She's relatable, easy to talk to, kind, firm, creative, and smart. There is no other gift in the world you could give yourself that will be more valuable to your happiness than working with Kristin. I don't say this lightly when I say she truly changed my life.
Kalina, stepmom of 2
"I'm better able to manage situations that previously caused me a lot of stress."
Kristin created a safe space where I felt comfortable to open up and face some feelings that I didn't even realise I had, as well as giving me the tools to turn those feelings around to create more peace in my life with my step family. I am better able to manage situations that previously caused me a lot of stress and enjoy the time when my partner's daughter is here. I also felt that as a step mum herself, Kristin really understands where you are coming from. I highly recommend her as a coach!
Kristin created a safe space where I felt comfortable to open up and face some feelings that I didn't even realise I had, as well as giving me the tools to turn those feelings around to create more peace in my life with my step family. I am better able to manage situations that previously caused me a lot of stress and enjoy the time when my partner's daughter is here. I also felt that as a step mum herself, Kristin really understands where you are coming from. I highly recommend her as a coach!
"I feel like I'm ready for a second chance."
The most significant change I experienced through Kristin's coaching was that I stopped using my emotions as decision-makers. Kristin helped me dissect and label all the different moving parts of the jumbled mess I felt I was trapped in. When we slowed down enough to pick out the different elements of my situation, I was able to look at each facet in isolation, then reassemble it and find a new understanding about what was really happening in my home and my life. I learned that although emotions are valuable messengers, they are not the best decision-makers. I learned how to discern facts from feelings, and how to use Kristin's "Model" tool to literally transform the SAME situation into a DIFFERENT outcome for myself each time, which in turn, benefits my whole family.
Working with Kristin impacted my relationships by "changing the dance." She taught me new "steps" that had either had never occurred to me before, or I had felt powerless to do before. With these new "steps" I respond differently to triggers. I listen to my family members with a truly open and fearless heart, knowing that no one and nothing can ever take away the agency I have over myself. I meet challenges at the gate, rather than hiding and hoping they don't invade my safe space. This reduces the opportunity for resentments to build against my loved ones. I feel bigger than my wounds now, so I'm not acting out of victimhood anymore, blaming my family members for my own state of misery. I also included my husband in my journey toward healing, by sharing with him the discoveries I was making about myself with Kristin, and asking him to join me in the vigilance it would take to implement these new "steps" until they become automatic. He seems happy to be involved, like I've let him in on a secret mission just for the two of us to conquer together.
I want other women to know that if you choose to work with Kristin, you will receive a unique and perfect blend of "cut the bullshit" with validation delivered inside a layer of loving kindness. You will not be offered a magic pill on a silver platter. Be prepared to earn the solutions to your problems. Kristin's guidance is always on-point. If you are capable of being honest with her and with yourself, you will make great progress. I had searched for someone like Kristin for three years before I found her. Being a Bonus Mom is harder than being a Bio Mom. Blending families is one of the most difficult things I've ever attempted. After completing the 12-week program with Kristin, I feel like I'm ready for a second chance. I'm going back in, and I'm equipped with the tools I need this time.
Bonus Mom Blending Families in Philly